At the verge of tears

I thought I would really be happy (and productive) when this day ends but I guess, it was too early to tell.

I can't describe what I'm feeling. I never thought I would feel this "kind-of-sadness" again. It's like gravity is pulling me down and down and down until I fall into a pit of darkness.

I just really want to talk to someone right now. But I'm afraid it would be useless since I cannot tell him/her exactly what my problem is. I have to carry on for the next few days faking a smile.

I don't want to cry. I won't cry. 

I should be studying for a quiz, sleeping early for the mass at 8 am but I really can't focus. It's hard when you're carrying this kind of problems. They never go away. It would be embedded on your heart forever.
Piercing you every time you see them.. 

Reminding you that you can't or shouldn't be easily fooled.
Telling you that really nothing lasts forever.
Leaving you with no one to rely on but yourself.

Making you believe that love does not last.